I’ve realised over the past month that I’ve been spending a lot of my time waiting. Waiting for what? Waiting to be told I was well. Waiting for my lymphoedema to heal. Waiting to get the inspiration to start a new business. Waiting for my husband to agree with my aspirations, whatever they may be. Waiting to lose weight.
I wasn’t aware of it until I felt a kick start happen a month ago. What caused it?
I went to have my annual mammogram and ultrasound at The Mater at 7.00am on a Monday morning. There were few cars on the road, only one person in the waiting room and the radiology staff still not there when I arrived. I was feeling anxious, particularly after having to walk by the ward where I recovered from surgery and seeing Chemo Cottage through the Waiting Room window. The last two years came flashing back.
I felt great in myself – fit and well. I still had the odd twinge occurring in my breast, side, shoulder and arm. There was a small doubt. “Would I be clear?” I was called, changed down and went straight in for the mammogram. It was quick and painless. “I’ll just check there’s nothing more”, said the radiographer. I then stood topless, waiting to hear whether I was clear to go on for the ultrasound. “Yes!” “Hooray”, I quietly cheered.
I then put on a gown and waited in a cubicle for the sonographer to be ready. The early hour meant it was a short wait. Next thing I was having warm gel spread on my chest and the ultrasound gun run over my breast and up under my arm pit. “It all looks good”, I heard. “I’ll just check with the Doctor”. I had a contemplative five minutes on the bed whilst I cleaned up and waited for the news. “All clear, you can get dressed and go.” I walked out elated, feeling proud.
I drove home, met up with my husband and then hit the road with him to drive to Mooloolaba, towing our sports boat behind ‘the ute’. We were competing in the National Sports Boats Regatta. How my ability has shifted in the last 18 months – from where I found it difficult to get my balance on the boat post chemo to being an integral part of the crew handling any role I needed to take on during the regatta. It’s the third regatta I’ve competed in in the last 12 months.
I returned to meet with my surgeon. It was the two-year check up. “You’ve heard the good news”, he said. “Any concerns?” “Just my lymphoedema.” He offered the suggestion of considering a lymph node transplant. It’s not that bad and I’m aiming for it to clear naturally with the daytime compression sleeve and night-time Caresia sleeve. So I declined to explore this option. “See you in 12 months.” We shared holiday stories and I left.
The good news didn’t stop there. My integrated doctor had recommended I have another CTC (circulating tumour cell) test mid year. When I went to get the results from him, the reading was down a whole 100 points from 250 to 150. We were both so thrilled he shook my hand. He offered to step up the supplement treatment with some Chinese herbs. I declined, “I want to keep doing what I’m doing. I believe it’s working”. He took me off the liver healing supplements and kept me on the bone density and hormone related supplements. I felt I’d had another win. “Two years down, three to go,” he said – a salient reminder that I can’t be complaisant.
I bounced out of the surgery and greeted my husband with a smile from ear to ear.
I resolved to keep up my regime of daily meditation, a brisk morning walk interspersed with yoga and pilates, daily juicing, organic food, no dairy, home cooking, healthy eating and plenty of sleep.
Amongst the rounds of appointments I still need to have, I had a six-week check up with my lymphoedema physiotherapist. “What’s the LDX (fluid) reading?” “11.4”, she said, “you’re down 3 points.” A miracle! The sleeves and weekly lymphatic drainage massage were working.
My prescription of PATIENCE during chemo looks like it’s paying off. I could feel the weight of being constantly concerned about my health and healing lifting. I felt I could ‘Leave the Waiting Room’ and start living my life more fully. I felt inspired to start working and contributing to others.
So that’s what I’ve been doing for the past few weeks. I’ve been working on a Wellness Project, facilitating workshops which teach people how to eat and live well. The first one will be in November this year.
All this good news gave me the impetus to talk with my husband about some other business ideas we have. We’ve started to progress them. I’m really excited about my life and am relieved that I’ve STOPPED WAITING!