This time last year I was supposed to be skiing. My mind was willing, but my body was completely incapable because of the chemotherapy. My doctor had said it was unlikely that I could ski and she was right.
I’ve been away skiing this week. I thought my body was healed after the physical trauma of last year. I had a rude awakening. Even though I look good and thought I was 100%, skiing really tested me physically. My muscles struggled each day, aching after a relatively short period of time skiiing – 1.5 hours on day one, 2.5 on day two, 4 on day three and the same again on day four. By the evening of day four, my body decided to pack it in and I came down with one of the worst colds and chest infections I have experienced in 18 years. I am hardly ever sick, so this has been a shock. I now realise I have to pace myself a little more slowly in my healing process than I have.
Lots of questions went through my head before I went skiing. Am I up to it? Will I still be able to ski? Will my passion for skiing still be there? What if the snow is bad, will my body be up to skiing in difficult conditions? Well, my body answered those questions very directly.
My physical confidence has been knocked in the last year. In a matter of 3 months (July to September) I went from slim, strong, physically fit and able to go trekking to being puffy with chemo fluid and physically depleted. The experience upset me at so many levels.
Before I started chemotherapy, I decided I was going to keep as active as I could. I’d seen a health programme on TV about the benefits of exercise whilst on chemotherapy. How it gives you some feeling of wellbeing, stops depression and provides some energy. I committed to exercising every day no matter how I felt and I did.
I walked every day, sometimes a short distance; other times further. My pace progressively slowed down to the point where some days my husband would drive me to the beach and we’d walk on the flat as far as I could. When I was very depleted, this was about 200m. Towards the end of chemo my lungs and body couldn’t provide the energy required to walk. However, enjoying the elements and breathing fresh air did me the world of good throughout my treatment and I am sure assisted me mentally.
At the beginning my integrated GP had given me a range of advice, the key one being “don’t lose any weight or muscle mass. Muscle is very difficult to rebuild.”
So I returned to yoga, a very gentle Hatha Yoga, once a week and maintained my Pilates. My instructors were enormously patient, thoughtful, loving and generous, supporting me in doing as much as I could.
Yoga has been one of my most important forms of exercise over the past 12 months. It has helped me stay centred and connected to my body giving me what I needed to heal. It has also assisted me to regain strength and balance. My Yin (left side of my body) was depleted during chemo. It took more than 6 months to regain strength in this side of my body, the side on which I was operated, and I am still working on it.
As I have said, outwardly I look like I am completely healed. I’ve realised in these last few days that it is going to take more time for my body to rebuild itself.
- Hatha Yoga (junglebaydominica.wordpress.com)